Transcript Of Video
Alright guys. You’re gonna hate this one.
I know you’re not going to like this topic, but it’s a pretty important one. Because, if you don’t get this dialed in, any relationship you have with you wife or girlfriend will be kind of messed up.
We’re talking about empathy. We’re talking about… the ability to hurt because she is hurting.
Now most men, when you woman is in pain, we adopt the typical masculine approach, which sounds like, “Dude. Just stop hurting. Get over it.”
That kind of works with other men, but when it comes to the women folk, that doesn’t cut it so much.
Instead, what tends to work a lot better, is if you’re able to actually, legitimately (you don’t have to fake it) be able to hurt because she hurts.
If you can do that, you can become connected to her in such a way that you are going to gain points in ways that you can’t believe.
Here’s what I do.
I image if somebody else had done something to my wife… if someone else had hurt my wife in this way… what would I be feeling inside? Would I be defensive? Would I be protective? Would I feel bad for her? Would I be bugged at the person who hurt her?
If any of those things are there, that is that protective quality you have for your wife.
You need to be able to tap into that, because, if those are the feelings that show up if someone else hurts her, then, when you hurt her, even if you caused the pain, she needs to know that you hurt because she hurts.
It’s not always the easiest thing to get to right away, but when you make that transition, you’re going to be dealing with the actual pain of her heart which is going to provide the most healing and bring you both back together as close as possible, as soon as possible, so you don’t have to be in a fight for three days, walking around with that tension in the air, thick enough that you could cut with a knife.
We’ve all been there, done that… that’s not a real good way to spend a day, especially if there’s a football game on.
So, to get reconnected with you wife as soon as possible, always imagine “if someone else had caused this pain in her, what would I be feeling?” If you can feel that for her, then see if you can there, even if you caused that pain.
Give it a try. I think it will work.